How To Know If You Are In A Healthy Relationship

Relationships are a necessary part of our existence. However, relationships can be healthy or unhealthy. Healthy relationships contribute to our overall well-being while an unhealthy relationship does the exact opposite. There are different things that point to whether a relationship is healthy or not. To tell if your relationship is healthy or not ask yourself these questions:

1. What does he/she bring out of me?

The quality of your relationship revolves around what you become by it. How is the relationship impacting you? Note this is not about the other person forcing you to change who you already are. In a healthy relationship, you don’t feel forced to change who you are but rather inspired to make needed changes. In other words, it does not try to fix you but rather help you fix yourself. A true partner knows your weakness but shows you your strengths. Feels your fears, but fortifies your faith. Sees your anxieties, but frees your spirit. Recognizes your disability, but emphasizes your possibilities.

2. What does he/ she think of me?

What your partner thinks of you really matters. It tells or determines the value he or she places in such a relationship. And we usually give quality attention and care to whatever we value. Does he/she see you as a plus in his/her life? Relationship works when it involves mutual contribution. If your partner does not see you as a value or at least a potential value in his life, the intimacy and closeness will likely diminish with time.
Also, people tend to become what the most important person in their lives believes they can be. That’s why people in abusive relationships are usually self-critical and timid.

3.What does he/she think of my future?

Every true relationship invests in your future one way or the other. Your relationship should contribute to your dreams and aspirations. Does your partner support and consider God’s plan for you. Does he/she help it or hinder it?
This emphasizes the need for you to determine the direction of your life. If you know what you want in life and where you are going, it is easy enough to figure out who fits into the picture.

4. How does he/she behave towards me in difficult times?

The real test on the quality of your relationship comes during difficult times not when the goings are smooth. If he/she turns abusive or one way or the other makes it look like you are the cause of his/her problems, that’s a negative signal.

5. What does he/she thinks about my values and beliefs?

If you are in a relationship where you have to sacrifice your core values, beliefs and things that really matter to you, you may need to re-consider that relationship. It is true that we are to adjust and sacrifice certain things in a relationship. However, when it involves relegating things that really matter to you; you are likely to end up unhappy in such relationship. One thing peculiar with couples in healthy relationships is the fact that they have similar values, beliefs and focus.

6. How does he/she reacts when issues arise?

Disagreement occurs every in any relationship. What matters is how it is handled? If he/she holds grudges for days and drags every little issue or disagreement to the extent that a third party need to be involved before it can be resolved, it does not tell well about that relationship.

7. How much do I trust him/her?

A relationship without trust breeds insecurity, heart breaks and emotional instability. It is impossible to have a relationship if there is no trust in such relationship. Couples in a healthy relationship are quite open to each other. That’s why communication is very important in relationships. If he/she allows you to wonder or try to guess what he/she has in mind; If you constantly sense insincerity from him/her, then there’s bound to be trust issues in such relationship.

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